Girls at the Gym

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The other day, while I was at a yoga class, I realized that I have a few gym-related pet peeves, all centered around girls. Why is this? I’m all about #GIRLPOWER, but at the gym, I find some of them to be quite obnoxious. For example

1. A few months back, I built up the courage to venture to the front of a very popular Zumba class at my local gym. (By “front”, I mean 3rd row out of a 10 row class). Girls line up outside the door 30 minutes prior to class (yes, it really is that good), and then race in so that they can get to the front. Since I’m in the class before, I get to see this shit-show take place. It’s like a pack of hungry hyenas running to grab gazelle scraps. Most of them absolutely LOVE staring at themselves in the mirror and making pouty faces while dancing. From my usual place in the back, it’s quite entertaining. I never noticed the “social-gap” between the people in the front and those in the back until that day. It first started off with one girl yelling “Get out of my way! You’re in my spot!” to a new girl. Then continued to say that she couldn’t see herself in the mirror. (Ugh…if I was the mirror I wouldn’t want to see her). Poor new girl. Luckily, a nice girl allowed her to stand next to her in the front. To which the plastic huffed and puffed about, then turned around to ask us, “Did I do something wrong? Am I not right? AM I NOT RIGHT?!” Then I’m pretty sure she z-snapped us.

Also, before I knew it a group of much older women (who definitely come every week to release their inner-sexiness), somehow managed to dance their way into the teeny bit of space in front of me. How this happened, is beyond me. They even turned around and gave me dirty looks as if I had taken their assigned spot. Older women + their booties + death stares = I’m scared.

Not only that, I got yelled at a couple times by the girl behind me that said “You’re all up in my space. If you can’t keep up move to the back.” There was so much animosity the front, that I was eventually forced to the back and have never ventured up there again.

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2. There’s a girl in my Pilates class that comes in late every week and goes straight to the front of the class, next to the instructor. Then proceeds to pull out her cell phone and starts texting, surfing the web, answering e-mails, making phone calls, Instagramming, etc.—all the way through class. To make this even better, while doing the exercise she limply raises her leg or arm, while holding and staring at her phone. After that one set of exercises is done, she puts her phone down and then starts doing the poses that WE JUST DID, on purpose. She totally knows that while the instructor is teaching the next pose, everyone will be staring at her in the front. Therefore, she takes advantage of this time to show everyone how “awesome” she thinks she is at Pilates. WHY ARE YOU HERE? No one likes you…trust me.

3. The girl who places her yoga mat either RIGHT in front or RIGHT next to mine, every single week, and then proceeds to breathe extremely loud throughout class. Its common courtesy, in any yoga class, that you stagger the mats and place them a good distance away from each other. Not plop your butt down where you feel like it. Come on now…I actually care about yoga. I want to make sure I’m doing the poses right and you’re ruining my hour of Zen by breathing like a dinosaur in my space. Go away.

4. Girls that cake their make-up on for the gym. Like CAKE IT on. This is completely beyond me. One, you’re here to work out, not to win the Southern Belle Beauty Pageant. Two, you barely even exercise because you’re scared if you sweat, your mascara will drip down your face and make you look like a crack-addict. What is the point? Just wipe it off.

5. The girls who constantly strike a pose, after each and every single routine in Zumba. This isn’t drill team, no one is a football cheerleader, and this isn’t soul train. One or two times, after a really good song – I get it. But thinking you’re a Pussycat Doll – it’s just weird.

However, I’d like to give props to the girls who come in every week, try their hardest and are there for good reasons. I’m with ya – I don’t like them girls either. Ok, end rant.

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Linked up on: I Would So Rock This, Myriad Musings, Penniless Socialite, Style to Inspire, and Cappuccino and Fashion.

Christmas Threw Up on Me & other Random Thoughts

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It finally hit me that it was the holidays when I stepped into Hobby Lobby this past Saturday. Thanksgiving and Christmas pretty much threw up on me. The store is like a drunk mass of big ornament balls, yards of ribbon, creepy statues, sparkle-everything, toy trains, wreaths the size of houses, masses of red/green/gold crap and dozens and dozens of crazy Martha Stewart-esque/”OMG! This is the CUTEST snowman I’ve ever seen!!!” women—it was only a matter of time before it puked. I left with glitter bits all over me, a pair of antlers for my car and a renewed faith in why I love this holiday. I’m not going to lie, the holiday high must have gotten to me as well—I wanted to walk around with a sparkly, Christmas tree cone on my head announcing that I was a unicorn (my friend, Ameeta was less than thrilled with this action).

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Now that my brain is in its beginning stages of shutting down for 2013, I had to dig deep to find out what I wanted to talk about today. Other than the fact that it’s still hot outside and I can wear shorts. Hence, I’m still sporting the t-shirt/blazer/shorts combo. I guess leather makes it kind of fall…no? With that, I thought I’d just make a list of a few things going on with me:

CURRENTLY…

…READING: I am Malala The Girl Who Stood up for Education and was Shot by the Taliban by Malala Yousafza. She has got to be one of the most inspiring 16 year olds out there. She definitely puts my 30 years of being on this earth in retrospective AND now I want to become a global volunteer of EVERYTHING.  

…EATING: Andes mints. You know, the kind that you get at Olive Garden. But unlike OG, I’m not stingy with my mints so I allow myself just one…every 5 minutes.

…PUMPING MY BLOOD STREAM WITH: La Croix Lime sparkling water. I’m trying really hard to balance out the toxicity of the chocolate mints.

…LISTENING TO THE PODCAST: This American Life. I have a huge crush on Ira Glass. Like HUGE.

…WISH I HAD AS A PET: Unicorn. This should be obvious. I tried to be one in a Hobby Lobby.

…DESPISE: Pumpkin-Spice anything. Ugh…I can’t stand this stuff. Even more so, I can’t stand Instagram pictures of it. I mean, how am I supposed to know it is what you say it is? It could be a spiked cinammon, eggnog half-whip latte with extra peppermint. Which doesn’t sound too bad…

…SWOONING OVER: Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Now if he was wearing one of those chunky, cable-knit guy sweaters with the winter designs on it – I just wouldn’t be able to handle it.

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…PET PEEV-ing ABOUT: People who call into radio shows with their relationship problems. WHY are you doing this? Do you not have friends? Or a shrink? Better yet, Google the answer.

…LOVE THIS COMMERCIAL:  My friend, Sheebani, shared this. It should be titled: “You know how Indian people are always SO dramatic? Well it continues. Here’s a Google India tear-jerker and it’s pretty freaking touching”.

…NOT OK WITH: The Orlando Bloom-Miranda Kerr breakup.  This is not sitting well with me. It’s like what happened last Thursday – I drank coffee, ate a yogurt with malt balls, had 3 garlic chicken spring rolls, ate hummus and pretzel chips, had at least 10 pieces of salt water taffy, drank a cafe au lait, had a bag of chili cheese fritos and then went to a two hour gym session of kickboxing and zumba. Yeah…my stomach…not so good.  

…POLISHING MY NAILS WITH: Marshmallow by Essie. If only it smelled and tasted like the real thing. I’d be licking my fingers all day.

…WANTING TO LEARN HOW TO DO: Skateboard. I just really want to be one of those cool Cali kids who wears chucks and rolls around on a board with 4 wheels. I think I’d look pretty awesome (ahem…horrid) at it.

Now you know me a little better or maybe you guys will make it a new year’s resolution not to read my blog (now that you know the real me). Either way, thanks for reading! Also, I won’t be back until after Thanksgiving but I’m prepping for some good December posts so I’ll see you in the last month of 2013.

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 Cat hat: Urban Outfitters / Nail polish: Stylenomics by Essie