If you came here thinking my first post for the year was going to be my resolutions, or something substantial—I apologize. I do not think I can kick-off the year, with something other than a few thoughts about the season premiere of The Bachelor. (I completely understand if you have decided to click out of my blog now, and watch The Golden Globes. I do not blame you. I also promise that I do have good goals for 2017!)
For some reason, I am still a Bachelor/Bachelorette viewer, and once again will watch the show that makes me question absolutely everything in life.
The second to last post I wrote in 2016 was, “Team Luke…Still.” Six months later, I am still #teamluke, but like many other disappointments in 2016, Luke still did not become 2017’s, The Bachelor. With bags packed and an open heart (again), Luke was left to fend for himself, as ABC scooped up Nick Viall—a Bachelorette Alum…twice over, a Bachelor in Paradise Alum…once over, and now for the fourth time, Nick has finally earned the title, “The Bachelor.”
Clearly, Nick is much smarter than your average person utilizing online dating apps day-in, and day-out. I mean really believing in true love with The Bachelor/Bachelorette series (at the age of 36!)—that takes a lot of faith in reality TV. Well played Nick…well played.
While the season premiere was actually last Monday, I didn’t get around to watching the show till Wednesday, and then on to gathering my thoughts until today…and I have a lot of thoughts. For the sake of everyone’s sanity, here is just my top ten:
- Right off the bat—Nick is awkward as shit. BUT he’s going to make for some good TV—his facial expressions, one-liners, and tears are going to be epic. (I hate to admit that as much as I would have loved Luke, Nick will be fun to watch.)
- What in the hell was that ”bro” group therapy session with past Bachelor/Bachelorette alums, Sean, Ben, and Chris? Like what normal group of guys do this?
- Red dresses were a thing y’all—like a BIG thing. Like OMG SHE’S WEARING A RED DRESS..AND SHE’S WEARING A RED DRESS…AND SHE’S WEARING A RED DRESS—and all the girls wearing red dresses, are hating on all the other girls wearing red dresses.
- Josephine and her cat. As much as I want to make fun of her, I honestly feel like one day I may be her, and I maybe closer than I think.
- Oh Corinne. We already hate you (and feel really sorry for your nanny…that you still have at the age of 24). She’s pretty much every girl’s nightmare, every guy’s dream, and she’s going to get far—like top five far.
- Danielle, she’s a neonatal nurse…enough said! She is clearly the most non-crazy, sweetest, and down to earth girl on the show, and will probably have no chance against the other hot messes. Sigh.
- Alexis, the girl who thinks she’s a dolphin. Do I need to say more?!
- Elizabeth, the girl whose already hooked up with Nick. Is it just me, or does it seem like she kind of wants a medal for this?
- Some of the most interesting introductions yet—the trust fall, an eskimo kiss, a dolphin costume, a “runner up,” hug tokens, a hot dog book, a camel—you’re intrigued now, aren’t you?
- These are all really smart, successful, nice women whom consist of a civil defense litigator, special needs teacher, nurses, mental health counselors, photographers, an aspiring dolphin trainer—Nick…don’t F it up!
I have a few (ahem 100) more thoughts, but we’ve got a few more months of this ridiculous show, so I’m going to save them! Based on Chris Harrison’s “prediction” that this is the most controversial/exciting season yet—I actually couldn’t agree more with him. Whoa…did I just say that?