This week is huge. OK, last week was huge too, with us electing our first woman presidential candidate—so many feels (and some ugly crying)! If you are in need of inspiration this Monday—stop reading this crap, and go watch last week’s DNC—all of it.
Now this week, after 9-weeks, we finally find out which one of the two guys JoJo picks as her “forever (read: one minute) love” on The Bachelorette tonight. These are important times y’all.
Throughout this season, I’ve found JoJo to be both really pretty, and pretty boring. Nothing too exciting came out of her, except for the fact that she’s from Texas and the multiple times she would start crying, bawl the words, “This is so hard,” and then fall to the ground in her tight designer dress, while having an anxiety attack.
Also the guys this season—an erectile dysfunction specialist, an ex-pro football player, a “Bachelor enthusiast” (so many “whats?” here), a some-what violent, steroid-using bully, a whiny little military guy, a goofy singer/songwriter from Katy, TX (woo hoo!), and the guys who had exactly what you’d want out of someone—which clearly did not appeal to JoJo.
But week after week (until last week), Luke Pell, a fellow Texan, and a war veteran (might I add, he looks great in chambray), always seemed to come out on top. Then he was axed. Now I think JoJo’s just pretty dumb.
Luke talked a bit slow. The candlelit path leading up to a heart made out of rose petals on his parents Texas ranch home, is what cheese is made out of, and was completely ridiculous. He did not say, “I love you” (because he’s not stupid). But he truly was the best and most genuine. His words, “You did not want me anymore,”…ugh…dagger to the heart.
Now she is left with two guys—Jordan Rodgers (brother of real football player, Aaron Rodgers), whose brain is that of a sleazy high school jock, combined with whatever is the dumbest animal out there, and Robby, a 13-year old boy trapped in an overly-tanned body of a 20-something year old swimmer. It truly is slim pickings out there.
Well JoJo, tonight you get to wear another pretty gown, hyperventilate again, fall in love for a hot second, and still have to sit next to Chris Harrison,
host mind-numbing “therapist” of The Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad. What a resume.
As for Luke…there is another JoJo out there. *wink* #lukeforbachelor2017
Another huge thing this week—the Olympics start on Friday! Once again, the world’s most perfect athletes (and Ryan Lochte) will grace our TVs for two weeks.
It’s also the two weeks where I’m so inspired by them, that I actually go to the gym like every day and eat healthy, with the hope that maybe I too can be an Olympian. After two weeks, I want a donut. I want a donut real badly. So, there’s always archery…